if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
