I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
