absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
