idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
