R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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