Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
