She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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