he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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