when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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