I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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