Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
