WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
