Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
