you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize