kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
