Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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