just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So apparently I’m into choking now
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