The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
