I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize