the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
