Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
