He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
