i would punch a child for taco bell
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
