After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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