Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
