you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
