I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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