I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
