Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
