I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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