Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
