He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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