She's JV to your varsity
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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