Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
