when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
