distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I need to sanitize my soul.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize