I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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