I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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