I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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