mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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