there was a trapeze. enough said
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
