goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
