How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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