if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
