Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
