For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
