You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
