So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
