yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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