So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
