So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
