Me too!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
