let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
