if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
