God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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