is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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