Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
