It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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