That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I could fuck to npr.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
