so let's talk penis.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
