New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
