I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
