Cold hands, warm shart.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
