He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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