similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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