return my video game
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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