from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize