Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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