are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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