They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize