you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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