that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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